Laying Down and Picking Up

Just over a year ago life changed, dramatically. Over a few short months I realised my marriage had reached the point of collapse, and found myself moving from a 3-bed semi with a permanent Lego space to a cosy 2 bed apartment, living on my own and establishing a new living pattern, space and way of being. Emotionally, I was all over the place, and the last thing I wanted to do was tinker with Lego when all I could see was what I'd lost; space to build and be creative, a relationship that my life was built around, and the security I thought I had in those things.

Since then, I've seen myself being rebuilt. I'm a Christian, I've spent 20 years leading Christian youth groups and heard many, many stories of healing. Now I've lived, and am living, through that healing and restoring, they aren't just stories of healing, I have a different perspective. There's no "fairytale ending", the marriage relationship is over, but I am in a better place.

I've learned to appreciate the things we take for granted: I have a roof over my head, a job that pays the rent and puts food on the table and enables me to enjoy my hobbies. I've shifted my focus. Lego used to be a huge part of who I am (and still is), but I don't want it to be the be-all-and-end-all that at times it became. I spent a year without touching the little bricks with any interest. I did the soul searching. I laid it all out before God, warts and all, and let go of everything I held dear. I used to think I could take Jesus teaching on "give everything up and follow me" seriously, that if called to do it, I could, wherever that may lead. Now, having let go of Lego for a year, the itch is back and I'm scratching, but I am willing to let go of it again if that's what God calls me to do.

My attitude had changed. Friends children call me "Lego Andy", which is cute, and separates me from their Dad Andy, but I want to be known for more than that. I want to use my Lego to point towards God. He's re-built me, he's given me the ability to build and create, I want Him to take the glory. We sing "Jesus, be the centre", but how often do we let our interests/hobbies/habits get in the way? I know I have done.

I laid down the bricks for a year, willing to not take them up again if part of the future for me is in a place where it's not practical to have it all with me. I don't know, by the way, what that future holds or where it is, but while I can, I'm enjoying building, aware of the talent God has blessed me with.

I don't know what this layout will look like when it's "finished", I don't know what I'll be like in 2 years, 10 years, 20 years, or where I'll be living. But I do know that while I might still be known as Lego Andy, I also want to be known as someone who, among other things, builds Lego, builds the part of the Kingdom of God I'm living in and is willing to change as the vision evolves.

9 hours of building... For what?

I'd forgotten how tiring 9 hours of building could be! But boy did I enjoy the day yesterday, taking the fist quarter of the layout, the first section, from simple baseplates to a nicely progressed set of tunnels and hillside.

You can see the three loops of track, which will enable three trains to run at the same time, and the part completed base for what will  be the upper level of track, which is swallowing a vast number of grey plates.... Bricklink will do well out of me methinks later in the build! The rolling stock that's in shot is there so I can check clearances etc as I build. Some locos etc, for example, my Duchess of Sutherland, overhang the corners much more than others, and with numerous pillars etc to hold up the top level, it's crucial to check that everything that will run through the tunnels etc won't crash into them. Sadly, the Duchess overhangs so much she'll only be running on the much more visible top level. Oh well...   :-) 

Space is a significant limiting factor in this layout (as of course, is budget...), and to get 3 loops on each level meant I had to bring them quite close to the edge of the baseplates. That in turn means there isn't a huge amount of space for landscape etc, which means that the hills the tunnels run through will have the "chopped off" look to them at the edge of the layout. It also limits the scope for detailed work around the mouths of tunnels, which are often sloped rather than flat-fronted as I've built them. Of course, most tunnels on the real railway networks don't have another track doing directly above them either!

That said, realism isn't top of my list of priorities for the layout. Getting something up and running after a year without, and doing some serious building is. Ultimately, once this layout is finished*, it won't run very often, just on special occasions when I can take it to a venue big enough to set it up, such as school fairs and the like. So why am I building it? 

I believe God has given each of us the ability to be creative, and for me one of those expressions of creativity is through lots of little bricks. I love the act of building, of creating something that is just an image in my head. I've no real idea what the finished thing will look like, it will evolve. But ultimately, I want to share this with other people, let them enjoy what I've created. In my head, it works. In my head, it will get out the door of my flat in one piece. In practice, there'll be challenges, broken sections (that can be repaired), and a vision that seems at times beyond what I think I can achieve. 

But isn't that what God asks us to do? Catch hold of a vision, a mission, and go for it? Accepting that there will be difficulties, and at times it will seem impossible for us to achieve. And for us on our own, it may well be impossible. I know I'll need help to get these sections out the door. But where something seems impossible, faith steps in. Grasp the vision, go for it, and walk in faith. 

* Finished? There will always be room for improvement, a tweak here, a touch there. I'm not convinced a layout is ever finished, it just reaches a point where I'm happy for other people to see it while I work on it.